down memory lane...

On our raye trip drive home one night recently..my aRiff is sleepy and starting to doze off..clutching me tightly he snuggled close wanting to sleep in my arms....a few minutes lapsed and he lay limp...i thought he was already asleep when he suddenly jolted up and turned towards the front mirror a few times...then he slowly mumbled..to his aBah..." abah..bawak lah slow2..laju lah abah bawak keta nie....." as usual..his aBah beloved tak reply..kept driving jer..oblivious to the worried tone in his son's voice...... glancing at the speed indicator.it was only 60 km/Hr....I softly hushed him saying..." tak sayang..abah tak laju pun..ummie tengokkan ye..aRiff tidor dulu.." feeling calmer with my reply...he settled down again to sleep..

Only a few minutes passed when again aRiff jolted abruptly and commented in his sleepy soft voice.." Abah...janganlah laju2 aBah..nanti jatuh..( i think he meant nanti..terlanggar or sth like that..)...." sensing his worry..I tried calming him saying that its okay aBah is doing fine..not speeding n all...hushing him to sleep again...his next reply caught me dumb-founded ..." Ummie..macam manelah aRiff nak tido nie..abah bawak laju sangat..aRiff mane boleh tido..aRiff nak tengok abaH nie..jangan laju2..nanti jatUh.( again..)..." " kite tok sah bagi abah bawak keta lah ummie..kite due je bawak keta kan Umiie..abah nie tak dgr lah ckp kite."..n etc...that brought warm memories to my childhood times...all the long..long..long trips and drive back to kuantan..( when we stayed there )..terengganu..and penang even...

yup..jauh kan journey2 tue those few years back without the new highway n all.....when everybody else is fast asleep...MamaNa lah champion of all..masuk keta tak kuar tmn bangi lagi dah tido..Zzzzzzz...hehheheheh.....Mmmm...when everybody else is asleep..my abah yg kekadang terbawak laju or termengantuk....will always be startled with a small..voice..constantly chanting..." abah...abah ngantuk ke???...." "abah..keta tue abah....lori tue..abah..," " jgn bawak laju2 abah...."...and even "abah ngantuk??? while massaging his back & shoulder in attempts to make him alert ...Yup...tak percaya??percayalah.......the chant will continue..till we reach the intended place...Yup..me...it was Me alright...I dun sleep coz i'm worried to doze off n leave my 'papito' driving alone when I know he is also tired as can Be..but he's battling with it to reach the place cepat....knowing that N not being able to drive back then...my best way of helping my abah is to watch out n temankan him...even though sometimes I irritate him more than please him wif my endless chants.....

at times when he scolds me..( i know its not hate..just tension.. "Argghh!!!banyak lah komen budak kecik nie..cube bawak sket keta nih....." *maybe that's what abah was thinking back then..hehehe..*...yup terase jugak when he scolds me...but being persistent n patient ( eceheheh) as I am..I tahan jer kena marah.....dok lah tercongok temankan abah..all the way...all the way..

dah kawin nie..jarang2 drive ngan abah all the long journey.....laa nie asyik drive ngan abang...yup i'm still my old self..tak bley senyap ade jer komen..but yup..abah is the best...biarler die marah pun tak terase sedih sgt...wif abang..m'be its young ppl's ego...org tegur..lagi laju die lari..hehehehe..

back to my ariff...aRiff might look like his abah..but with all that i've cerite above...deep down inside..aRiff is really indeed aLot...alOt..like his Ummie...hehehheheh Ummie ijah yg penakut & OCD..ehhehe....like the malay saying goes.." ke mane tumpahnye kuah if not ke ketupat..heheh * adjust sket raye2 nie...*

raye.....this year...

Selamat...hari raye * sing* just came back from Mlaka trip....

this time around..memang dah plan 2nd raye Mlaka trip...since I started raye eve in slayang...but did manage to help rendang cooking at mum's the day b4 eve..hehehhe....Ya n Janie help settlekan palas n kelempung the eve since MqamaNa takde..MamaYa plak take over chef palas..heheheh,,,....smalam...ptg 1st raye meet up mak n adikS at Cik syam's....Nani, bb Intan Aneesa, ( Sanin raye kat utan..), apit, husaini n hazim jer around..abg Emi n adik takder..but it was fun...filled with lots n lots of gossips n eating..yum..yum...( gone my diet..)




today.... Mlaka trip...kecoh!!!!...sume umah pegi..n we took latest pics of all the mlaka clans....plan nak up-date kan ler name2 sedare2.....biar kenal satu same lain...started off wif unty zizah's house then to uncle md noor then uncle md said's new...impressive IP mansion in putra heights mlaka...cun giler Na..U would have gawked like we did...cun giler..pandai unty Hawa deco kan....ada klass...hehehe..everyone was asking about MamaNa...puas kitorang ngumpat MamaNa...tak tersedak2 ker kat sane..??hehhe..



as usual..makan berlambak2..cam nak pecah perot..sume heavy2 masak asam....rendang..lontong...sambal....kuih bertimbun2.....balik drop by to C nenek jenap at uncle md noor's.....dah maghrib when we headed back...tired and all...




as happy as I am to meet up wif sedare2 ,...raye tahun nie..cam kureng happening jer...I dunno if others think so..but I do feel...kureng seronok.. wish MamaNa is around..things seems a lOttt..brighter n cheerful when MamaNa's around.....kecoh pun happening giler...akak rase mak..abah..n adikS feel it tOoo.... even uncle Md Said said he misses "mangkuk" sorang tue......heheheh..but never mind...we know U miss us tOo..hehhe kan...kan...we will send u pics ...so..how's raye kat Abu Dhabi..??dengar cite..owg dah raye..U all dunno..?hehhehehe lawak betul ler korang nih..hehhee..citeler makan pe...masak ape...n do send pic raye wif baju mommy vogue tue ehh..take care MamaNa n papaOM...n lil bb in tummy..hehheeh happy raye....miss U guySsss..loTssss...

come- back......

i'm back...after a really...really...loOooooooG silence....yes...my lil sister Ina...whom I initially started this blog fer...when she was in Aussie.....came back to Msia......n I kinda stOp blogging...hehhehhe...but now..she has gone abroad to Abu Dhabi.......so i'll blog again..hehhehe..

Yup..lotss..I really mean a lot has happened all this while...during my silence....Ina came back home....n settled down ( tied d knot ) with her beloved Helmi.a.k.a OM ...she's quit working fer Alstom n has become a happy unemployed ...pregnant lady..hehehehhe...now she has gone to Abu Dhabi to join beloved hubby who's working there....

As fer ariff n aufa..they've grown sooo much..aufa can talk now..n dah ganaZzzz..i'll up-load their pics soon....

just...a short come back note......more to come....

p/s : MamaNa...papaOM...rajin2 ler baca blog...Ummie will up-date slalu..insya-Allah...nice house by the way...hehehhe

what HE gives...HE takes back....

i'm currently doing my elective posting in SCN/ NICU- for those who is not used to these terms it basically means a place / ward for newborns or premies with complications during or after birth.....so it had been 4 months working my ass off here in this new unit.. everything seemed different..tiny and small...getting used to it all took sometime...now i've been doing calls for 2 months...tiring all in all...*how i miss having HO around!!*.......

a few days ago, during my ON-call day.....there was this baby who was about a week old with some growth in his brain, after being investigated it turned out to be a nasty type of growth which usually has a poor outcome.....the anxious parents were told of this and of the poorly expected outcome - no matter what we resort to....being a mum myself..i could only imagine how shattered the parents must have felt on learning this fact......awaiting for their final decision on some operation which may help the suffering baby and stall the course of the disease ...the mum finally consented...

while I was doing my rounds that night, the teary-eyed mum approached me asking permission to bring in his eldest (5 yr old) in to see his lil baby brother that he had waited for all this time.....without any expressions or words..silently i thought...*Hmmm...lepas operation pun bley tengok...*...but her next sentenced struck me dumb......" saya nak sangat bawak abang dia masuk tengok adik sebelum bedah sebab nanti lepas bedah takut kepala dah berlubang ke, tempurung tak ade..kesian abg die tgk adik die rupe macam tu pulak......kan doktor..??

- Ya Allah....I ...i mean we ..doctors had been so used to seeing patients with deformities and in bad conditions or recovering from operations or diseases with permanent defects..that we tend to forget that these sights are new and not normal to lay-man ( or people out there).....* yelah...i slowly terfikir...." what and how would a 5 year old boy react seeing his lil 1 week old brother with no skull / worst a whole in the head???*

after discussing with a senior colleague n the in- charge ward sister...we allowed the lil boy in - in discretion for just a few minutes.....seeing him watch his lil newborn brother for the first time brought tears streaming down my cheeks...." Ma...comelnye adik Ma...Bile adik nak balik ngan kite ye Ma.???cepat lah adik balik....."....when he looked at me as if awaiting for an answer as to when can his lil brother come home..my answer was " abang doa banyak2 kat Allah...bagi adik baik...okey..." >near-choking on each words...trying to hold back tears......the mother was speechless....I saw only tears streaming down her face and wetting her towel in hand.....

The next morning, as early as 6 am as i was up taking bloods.....and up-dating patient's progress, I saw the mum cradling her baby close and talking to the baby with teary eyes.....the lil baby went for operation that afternoon but...as Allah loved him so......and it was fated to be...he succumbed

I hope the dear family who have endured this recent loss take this as a dugaan from HIM....and I pray they be blessed with another healthy son in near future....

As for me.....though this NICU posting is really hectic n tiring...it has thought me priceless lessons on how lucky I am n how grateful I should be ....for eventhough my pregnancies were always complicated...it ends with easy deliveries n my babies are healthy......I can only imagine the sadness n anxiety parents feel for their lil babies who are warded here.....waiting day by day for the time they can cradle the babies at home peacefully.....What I can offer now..is help..help...and more help ....as much as possible to make this "going home to mama n papa " possible n as soon as it can be....

~Alhamdulillah Allah for blessing me wif healthy ariff n aufa.......

MamaSue's Graduation....n mOre....

Convocation usually reminds me of bouquet of colourful flowers, robes and mortar boards, gleeful faces n large cheerful crowds.........it had been so for ages now....but 2007 brought a me a new picture to reminisce CONVOCATIONS... Sadly for Janie or fondly known as MamaSue...her convocation ceremony took place when Mak,abah n PapaLee R still abroad......sO Iya n Me went on Be1/2 of Mak n abah to the scroll-giving event....All clad in kurungs( cam baiks jer!!!) the theme 4 d day was black saree.....
Sampai2 on-time,luckily dapat VIP sticker(courtesy of Enez) we had walking distance car-park....Seeing crowds of multi-coloured people n smells....Iya blurted out .." hopefully xdelah indian gals pakai saree cam kite nie, kalau ade, we should walk near them,biar org ingat we come 2gether-gether....hehehhe( brilliant idea???)...
Preparing 4 the bored-to-death dewan session we came handy with MP3 .... tp dlm dewan baru discover yg earplugs tue x fit!!! (chehheheh!!!!)....nasib baik I brought my MCQs along,bley gak buat ubat tido......Pity Ya...asyik terlentok2....Makcik next 2 me was busy munching sireh complete with kapur,gambir,pinang n all....n then she burped...PerGhhHHHH!!! the smell was unbearable......
Bangga je tgk MamaSue amik scroll, clad in her new black n blue baju, all dolled up in blue eye shadow, cute giler.....if only she was d last one doing the cute-blow kisses instead of Enez hehheheh....dah grad dah si kechik sorang nie,....bought her a bouquet in orange n white she was all smiles.....ariff,aufa,am n kak uswah came 4 picture-taking... pun ader.pokjang n aunty misah Megat n family joined too....had kentucky-outing after that....
Nak balik time....keta PapaLee battery kong plaks!!!!lampu ter-On tadi...Laaa!!!luckily POkJang was around,puas 'jump'kan tp x idup2 try wif battery waja baru bley.....by then dah penat giler!! aufa dah tertido2...ariff pun dah penat giler...nearly 10.30pm bru we were able to make a move back home.....
on d way back later ariff solemnly said"Ummie, tak mo ahh naik keta PapaLee nie lagi...simpan yek keta nie..suruh PapaLee belikan keta ubat okay......penat kan Ummie...?? Ariff pun penat sangat!!!"..yup!! I couldn't agree more.....balik tue,all X-hausted, tonggang air sejuk se'jug' abis.....
from now onwards,Convocation will remind me not only of flowers etc but more of being stranded with keta yg batterynya 'kong' ......Hahahahahh......
what a day!!!!!
pepe pun...I was glad to B there n share MamaSue's big day...Iknow Mak ,abah n PapaLee would want to be there too if they could.....anyway....congrats MamaSue!!!.....do well in ur Bachelor kay..nanti next Convo kite toksah naik Sazzy kay..hehhehehe...

Too-Eee.....best!!!

i used 2 frequent cinemas in my sOlO days in both KL n Ipoh...but since settling down I can too easily count d times i went for movies ( satu tangan pun cukup.... )..reason being 'xde mase,cian nak tinggalkan ariff n adding to it the fact that abg is not pro-cinema....the few times yg i managed to gi cinema-outing tu alone or ngan adiks2ku.....gi sorang boring jugak....
so when the movie Rattatoille(x sure ah spellingnye...) was premiering,....teringin nak tgk.....ariff pun 2x5,each time ade ad kat tv 'bout d movie..sebuks dia lompat2 shouting out "Ummie!ummie,,, jom kite tgk Tou-Eee jom....( that's how he calls the movie..) tiap kali ad macam tu le gayanye...without fail..
Our luck kot..abg agreed to go cinema-ing...so left lil' aufa wif kak uswah n went...d 3 of us ( Me-abg-ariFF),g dekat mines je...9pm show...nak g jejauh esoknye keje....had a quick dinner n then tunggu nak msk cinemA...time tue ariff's excitement was apparent...he was shouting " too-ee...too-ee.."at each n every poster of d movie....n was even 'posing2' at the posters....though quite a number of other kids his age n older were there 4 d movie....being his first cinema-experience I'm prepared 4 the worst n unexpecteds......within what brief time b4 we entered d cinema...I wAS prepping my ariff with the Do's n Don'ts in d cinema....n even warned him of the 'gelapness' once movie starts n all....munching eagerly on his caramel pop-corn,his only reply to my 'cinema-guides-for-beginners'were " Errr..Okay kan Ummie..best Too-Eee nie.."..with both eyes n fingers glued to the pop corn box...shuffling in2 d cinema soon after...Ariff was all prepared 4 whatever comes, clad in his spidey-jacket , he was still busy munching d pop-corns n sipping Sarsi from 'Too-Eee' Water container...till the 1st sounds of ad came to life on d screen ahead...all Wide-eyed and struck numb in his seat, Ariff was awed with what passes on the big screen....("prak jgk anak aku nie.,.)...hulur pop corn pun x nak...tambah plak reply baik punye.."Ummie!!!takMO aaahh..ariff nak tgk Too-Ee nie..., tak mo pop corn..kenyang tahu!!!" he stayed that way all wide-eyed thruout d movie n on n off giving commentaries like.."die masak kek lah ummie...,sedapnye maggi tu..., Ooo,,dia ramainye,,,comey sangat kan Ummie..n lots others.."
4yg tak tau....movie nie pasal a rat yg very clean n loves cooking n is very good at it....
He watched 3/4 of the movie then dah ngantuk...yelah 11pm...so all in all it was a very successful movie outing...even abg Njoyed it.....d best is abg's closing remark.. " sronok tgk ariff tadi..pandai die x nangis,n he Njoyed it...kalau ade cite best bley arghh bawak lagi"...-yaHoo!!!!4 ariff n Ummie both!!!hehheheh

uwAaaa!!!!!cepat ahh balik!!!!!!

it's been 2 weeks ..(emm..16 days actually...hehhe..look who's counting..) since Mak,Abah n PapaLee left for Wallanggong...visiting MamaNa....everything in Tee-Jay seems quiet nowadays..no more shrieking n distinctive voices of Mak...or witty jokes n blunt remarks from abah....n ariff n lil' aufa is relatively SAFE from PapaLee's Xtreme show of affection..which includes..nose-licking, cheek-biting n etc....All in all....everything is calmer but unpleasantly LONELIER....
I miss my mOmmy!!!!...abah!!! ( "cry baby..) n even Lee ( yikes!!!x betul ke ape??)...n I can even tell aufa n ariff misses them all too..m'be lil Aufa misses his atuk n nenek more since nowadays only Kak Uswah awaits him day in-day-out at Nenek's place..sure dia heran..."mane pi org tua berdua yg suke gomol2 aku tue???rendu pulaks x digomol2 nie...".....eVen kak Uswah seems lonely..pity her coz, i'm busy at work..what with being in NICU and all..going back late seems to be a routine nowadays...so cian Kak uswah ber2 je ngan aufa..usually...rumah tue lively with nenek's n kak uswah's chatters.....gaduh2 n all...nie...senyap sunyi....kak uswah lost weight I think...she hardly eats...even if I buy food , she'll say she's full or takde selera n all..puas kena pakse by me n abang baru dia makan...kitorang pesan "kena makan, nanti sakit....masuk jarum!!!"......I know how fond she is of Mamito.....n yes...she misses Mak a lot...I can tell....whenever mak calls from Aussie, she'll glow like fireflies...x makan seharian pun xpe I guess....
Seeing lil Aufa growing bigger, plummer n cleverer each day...I'm SaD inside...."wish Mak n abah can b here to see him now...dah bley merangkak tu!!!!pantang lepa sket...sampai KL dah....he can even pull up to standing position on his own n meniti tepi kusyen or sofa....that's actually very2 advanced for his 6 months age......iJah tau....if I can feel Sayu..seeing it..Mak n abah sure rendus giler ngan aufa n ariff....
aS 4 MamaSu...i'll attend her konvo wif iYa...gantikan Mak n abah...cian jugak si kechik sorang tue...xpe..ijah dah promise to treat them to bukit expo the nite before konvo...bley ajak OM skali kan??MamaNa???bley eh???Ya n kak uswah n all pun ade....
anyway...we know u're all there 2 b with MamaNa....Njoy yerself n cecePat balik ehh....
We Miss U aLL........